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Feb. 20th, 2011 03:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
another_constellationOkay, I'm doing a bit better today. I went to CVS last night and just stared at the wall of menstrual supplies for like ten minutes. I felt simultaneously like every single dad in a sitcom and a twelve-year-old girl. I had a Diva, but sold it a few years ago and Insteads make me natious when they press on my cervix. So tampons it was. I just kept muttering things like "but how many hours is regular?" All this sort of basic stuff that a twenty-three-year-old should know.I was literally muttering "but how heavy is my flow?" Because, of course, I had no way of knowing. Until I started leaking. Four years of missing data.
THe suicidal impulse is gone, and urge to cry is mostly intermittant. It was my gram's birthday party today, which was nice, and awkward. Lots of family and people who haven't seen me since I was a kid, let alone since I transitioned. One of my great aunts called me Levi. I didn't correct her. I always wonder what they have been told. If thye think I am just another nephew (it's a big family), if they know how I fit in, if they wonder where the old me went, if they think I still am that person.
THe suicidal impulse is gone, and urge to cry is mostly intermittant. It was my gram's birthday party today, which was nice, and awkward. Lots of family and people who haven't seen me since I was a kid, let alone since I transitioned. One of my great aunts called me Levi. I didn't correct her. I always wonder what they have been told. If thye think I am just another nephew (it's a big family), if they know how I fit in, if they wonder where the old me went, if they think I still am that person.
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Date: 2011-02-21 06:50 am (UTC)i heart my diva cup and am super thankful to not have to navigate the woes of tampon alley these days. i think the absorbency crap is ridic to try to figure out, especially when you're feeling awful and there's a list of places a mile long that you'd rather be at that very moment.